VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
