it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
