Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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