please come you make the beer taste better
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
did you just send me my own nude
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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