just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
