I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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