oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
