Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Randomize
