Whatcha textin bout Willis?
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
