oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
