You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
