I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
