D3 body, D1 cock
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
