Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
