Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Welp...herpes.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
