Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
