Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
