he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
