Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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