I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize