these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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