I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
