On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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