Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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