Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
