i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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