Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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