You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Houston, we have a blender
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
