i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
