On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize