i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
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