oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
