Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
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