I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
sex in a hospital.. check
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
