Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
