im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
