she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
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