I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Acid is not a monday night drug
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
