I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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