i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
