Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Randomize