I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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