i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
