We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize