Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
