first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize