Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
