the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
