Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Randomize