R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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