Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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