shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
