sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
