I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
