There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
