My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
