Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
