I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
