He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize