The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
they need to just BURY HIM!
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
