So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize