so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
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