soooo we both peed the bed last night...
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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