I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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