You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize