Kiss
Puke
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Randomize
