A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
