just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
