You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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