we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
