i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
