it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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