I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Randomize
