does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
