please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Randomize
