I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
