it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
