I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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