Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
