I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
