That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
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Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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