Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
