I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
