trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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