are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Randomize
