If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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